Suddenly, I jostle awake. My eyes scream open, my heart rate soars. I look over at the clock, praying it’s very close to the 5:00 am wake up.

It’s not.

2:11 am.

Here we go. Again

My thought scurry loudly through my head. My mind will not shut off.

I go to the sink quietly, not wanting to wake my sleeping husband. He already lacks the gift of good sleep, so I do not want to be a contributing party to his lack.

I have a tendency to over-think. Over-analyze. Read too much into things.

As I get older, I am learning to rest more. Specifically, rest for my mind.

Years ago, I struggled horribly with anxiety and fear.

Much of it, was due to the things I was allowing into my heart and mind.

Endless googling, out of control worrying, constantly seeking to control all those things that I had no business trying to control.

Eventually, I became burnt out and physically and mentally DONE.

If you were to ask me the one thing that has MOST changed my life and my relationship with Jesus, the answer would be one 6 letter word…

Prayer.

However, prayer came much later in my faith walk. I mean, yes, I would pray at times, but it was not until much later in my walk that I began to fervently and intentionally pray.